Fathers Day

This Sunday most people will be spending the day with their Dads. Every year this day rolls around and I think this is the year it will get easier for me. I have such high hopes and once again I am left broken hearted and devastated.  You see that’s how it is when your Dad is deceased.

Father’s Day and my Dad’s birthday are probably two of the toughest days for me to get through. Over the years he has been gone I have reflected on so many of the things he has missed. He has never had the opportunity to meet his grandchildren- my niece and nephew.

He has been gone 17 years and was just 60 years old when he passed away from Pancreatic Cancer. My Mom and I were  his caregivers the entire time of his illness. No one understands how difficult it is to watch a man so full of life literally waste away right in front of your eyes, unless you have gone through it. The silver lining is that my Mom and I now have an amazing bond. 

My Dad was an amazing man. He was probably one of the smartest people I ever met. Could build or fix anything. He instilled in me a work ethic that I am very proud of. He was a gifted photographer and lived life to the fullest. He truly had a sense of humor and sparkle to him that was magical. The cool thing is that many of those traits are reflected in me: his sense of humor, photography ability and personality. My favorite shared trait his love of sarcasm!! I love all things sarcastic and nothing makes me smile more than someone who is good at it. My Mom says “you sound just like you father” when I get sarcastic. Little does she know that it is the BEST compliment ever. 

During his illness he made me promise that I would worry less and place much less emphasis on being such a workaholic. He regretted not taking more time to just relax and not kill himself with his job. Well 17 years later I am still working on the worrying part but I am doing better on the work portion. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. 

The pain of his death is as raw today as it was 17 years ago. To everyone who has their Dad, don’t take it for granted. Pick up the phone, tell them how much they mean to you. You just never know when they will be gone. I am SO grateful I had the precious time with my Dad to tell him how much he meant to me!!